• Author:
• Editor: B2331
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number: 3
• Date: March 19 1913
• Tags:
• politics
• joke

Some Aspirants for Cabinet Positions.

IGNACIO CRABFLAKE had expect- ed to be Wilson’s Secretary of State, be- cause he once gave the President a match ~ when his pipe went out.

• GUSTAV NICOTINE whose father

was Wilson’s barber, says it is no more than right that he should have been ap- pointed Postmaster-General.

TOBIAS FIERCE the house decora- tor, who is an old friend of Wilson’s Cousin, expected to land the job of Sec— retary of the Interior.

It was whispered that OSCAR PIC-

KLESAUER would hold down Secre- |l : | His type of imagery was remarkable.

| He could dig the Panama Canal with a

tary of the Treasury. He once shared a banana with Wilson when they were boys together.

CICERO MacSAUSAGE was spoken of vigorously for Secretary of War. Mr. Wilson owes him a debt of gratitude for loaning him his umbrella one day when it looked like rain.

LLEWELLYN J. FLOUNDER’S — friends believed he had the Attorney- General’s job cinched. Mr. Wilson show- ed his friendly feeling toward Flounder

some years ago, when he allowed him to hold his horse.