• Author:
• Editor: B2331
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number: 2
• Date: April 23 1913
• Tags:
• gossip
• jokes

YEs dear reader; if his conduct is good, an umpire is elligible for parole the same as anyone else.

Tue Cubs would never grow very wild, if they had the Ninth for pernament mas- ters. Proof there is nothing in a name.

JinGLEs says that he has discovered perpetual motion, in watching the lips of Bingles, even when he performs on the B flat claronet.

THE Doctor is pretty busy these days, calling ‘‘bluffs.”” Everybody in a cell, feels that he must have fresh air, be- tween four and five P. M. Wonder whats the reason?

OvERSEER O’ Brien, on the Eight Block, wants to know if Sunday playing is pro- hibited in this State, owing {o the foul balls being made so often. Pass the soup please.

Mk. Weigandt became very indignant the other day, when some one told him the Band was playing at the stable—He wanted to know what was the matter with the band-room.

THE bakers were short of men one day last week, and were behind with their day’s batch, until Overseer Moore went in and helped them out, but that was not enough, so Moore wentin the dough —Every little bit of dough added to

what you’ve got, makes just a little bit Moore.

IN the future, the Umpire will not print apy criticism of any article con- tained therein. As a rule, the critic’s article is very poor and it is presumptous to say the least, for him to decry the the efforts of another. The Umpire will gladly accept from any inmate, clean, in- structive articles; but don’t send any other kind, as our waste-paper bag is only emptied once-a-week, and we don’t like to have them lying around over the floor.

IN the game on Friday Bill, one of our printers, was so confident of the Li- brary winning from the Ninth Block that he approached Timmie before the game, and volunteered to assist him to his cell at the close of the game, but unfortunate- ly when Cap hit a home run, Bill wasso overcome that he fainted away and was assisted to his cell. Next morning he saw Timmie very proud, wearing a huge flower on the lapel of his coat, and he wanted to know where Bill was, so Bill apologized, and said he was called away to assist an' UMPIRE reporter.