• Author: Rocky
• Editor: B-2331
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 5 14 1913
• Tags:
• joke
• raffles

RAFFLES ELUDES PURSUERS ELEVEN Hundred and Sixty-five prisoners madly rushed to the corner of Market and Chestnut Streets, to find Raffles. Raffles saw them coming, and quickly ran to the corner of Chestnut and Market Streets, and got away. Chee-Chaw was wild. A ham was hanging on a hook in front of a butcher shop. The prize hunters were struck dumb at Raffles sudden disappearance. He was now on Ridge Avenue. After a council of war, it was decided to take the ham by assault. Des Moines Ike, the celebrated detective, was sitting in a quick lunch room, with his back to them, but he knew what was going on. He would frustrate their attempt to get that ham. Ike quickly pulled a dictagraph from his pocket and said: ‘‘Watchu guys chewin' de rag about?' The frenzied crowd fell back. Raffles, on Broad St., laughed. Chee-Chaw, pointing to the Delaware, said to Ike: ‘‘There goes a man who threatened to break into the woods !'? Des Moines Ike, without losing his watch, ran at full speed toward the river. The hunters then tore the ham ruthlessly from the hook, and took up the trail again. Raffles joined in the chase. They went through alleys, pockets and deserted streets. After following the trail an hour, they arrived at Market and Chestnut Streets. In the meantime, Des Moines Ike was exploring Camden. He was lost. Only a lionheart would venture into that sand-scorching desert. The butcher knew the ham was missing, because it was Wednesday. Did he invoke the law? No. Only one man could solve the mystery, and that was Des Moines Ike. On hands and knees Ike searched the subway for a clue. $5,000.00 REWARD To anyone who can discover the clue that Des Moines Ike found. It is not right to leave eleven hundred and sixty-five amateur hunters out all night, so tell us where they went when the whistle blew. —Rocky.