• Author: Rocky
• Editor: B-2331
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 6 4 1913
• Tags:
• joke
• raffles

THE PLOT THICKENS (Continued from last week's edition,) Ike quickly disguised himself as "Hungry Joe,'' the con man. He drew three shells and a tripod from his vest pocket. Omar became interested. Ike then pulled out a South Carolina Pardon Blank that was ornate in gold lettering. It was embellished with the signature of the man who wanted to send the Constitution on a certain journey. Ike said to Omar: "This is the little Japanese puzzle; if you find the elusive pea, you win this ninety million dollar new subway bond. If you lose, then I win your Kohinoor that you hold in your hand.'? Omar eagerly picked up one shell and—lost. In a fit of remorse, Omar shot himself through the brain. Ike immediately put him under arrest. They jumped in the gray touring car, and went spinning toward Doylestown. The wind blew Omar's chin spinnage to starboard continually. Ike felt something tickle his ear, but thought another bright idea was entering his brain. The titillation recurred so frequently that Ike, who hasa hasty temper, stabbed Omar nine times through the heart. The tire busted! At the point of a gun Ike forced Omar to mend that tire with a bottle of Peruna that Omar never was without. Soon they were speeding into Altoona. My reader should now pay attention to the way Ike's bright mind began to work; it is instructive. Des Moines Ike knew better than to turn Omar over to the Chester police. They would claim the reward. What did Ike do? Listen! He stopped the car at Jake Flivver's store in Chambersburg, and bought three bushels of peanuts. Then they walked to the woods. Omar began to browse on those Hamlet pills. Ike wanted to keep Omar's mind and mouth busy, he knew Omar would cheerfully serve a ‘life sentence if Goobernuts shared his solitude. Omar would be there when Ike returned. So Ike started for Coatesville, to catch Raffles when he (Raffles) would enter the Walker hotel to get his overcoat. In the meantime, Raffles, mingling with the crowd in Wanamakers, bought a base ball mask and— The Thick-wurst Mystery will appear —Rocky. in a future issue.