• Author: B-6290
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 7 16 1913
• Tags:
• joke

NEW COMMANDMENTS These are commandments new and Ten. Which wives lay down to married men: I—Remember that I am thy wife, Whom thou must cherish all thy life, Sure Thing. II—Remember ‘tis thy duty clear, To dress me well throughout the year. Of course, dear. III—My cooking thou shalt not despise, And shall with pleasure praise my pies. We'll see. IV—My mother thou shalt strive to please, And let her live with us in ease, My, Oh! My. V—It shall be thy duty mild and meek, To give me thy wages every week. Oh, the nerve. VI—Thou shalt not flirt, but must allow, Thy wife this privilege anyhow. More nerve. VII—Thou shalt get up when baby cries, And try the child to tranquilize. Oh! my. VIII—Thou shalt not be a drinking man, But live on the Prohibition plan. What next? IX—Thou shalt not stay out late at night, When clubs and lodges do invite. Women dare never vote. X—Friends thou shalt number very few, All must be handsome, sincere, and true. That's us. These my commandments from day to day, Implicitly thou must obey. B 6290