• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 8 20 1913
• Tags:
• joke
• inside joke
• racist

SAID TO BE FUNNY Let us be thankful for occasional visits from the man who sees the funny side of things. "He is in ‘Who's Who,' I believe?" "Yes, but he is much more prominent in "Here's How!" ‘There's one thing I want to see while I am in Europe." "And that is?" "The Hungarian goulash in session." "You can judge a man's character by the way he acts when he has a tooth pulled.""I'd very much rather size him up by the way he goes on when he has his leg pulled." Duckie says, he would have had Jingles' scalp long ago, if he could only have found it. Small boy— (anxiously) ‘Please, mister, I want a cents worth of sausage." Butcher— (haughtily) "‘Go smell o'the hook." Little Willie was very much surprised to see a tribe of Indians, at the "movies," painting their faces, and was told that it was their usual custom before going out to ‘‘scalp, tomahawk and murder." The following evening while his sister's sweetheart was awaiting her arrival in the parlor, he heard an agonized shriek from the little fellow as he rushed down the stairway crying, "watch out everybody, sister's getting ready to scalp, tomahawk and murder." "I tell you, jedge" said Uncle Israel, "dem chickens was roostin' right on my way home; en I say to myself, ‘I don't believe the Lawd would er put dem chickens right in my way ef he hadn't wanted me to take 'em to relieve de famine I got in my house,' so I took em." "I guess you mistook the meaning of the Lord," said the judge, "‘else he would not have let you get caught as he did." "No suh; gittin' caught ain't got nothin' to do wid it. It depends on yo' now. Will yo' back de Lawd up, or will yo' turn him down? I had my chance en' tuck it. Now de question is: Will yo' take yo' chance?"