• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 8 27 1913
• Tags:
• joke

"Your honor,' said the prosecuting attorney, "the prisoner at the bar is charged with killing one of the most exemplary citizens of this county. Andrew D. Boyson was in every respect a model man. He was a beloved member of the church and was never known to be guilty of an unchristian act. Why; your honor, he was never known to bet on horses, play poker, drink whisky or use tobacco. He——""Hold on a minute," the judge broke in. ‘‘You say he didn't bet on horses?" "That's what I say, your honor." "And he didn't play poker?" "Never was known to play a game." "And he never drank liquor." "Not a drop your honor." "Didn't chew tobacco?" "Never took a chew in his life." "Well then I don't see what he wanted to live for. There wasn't anything in life for him and I don't see why he ain't as well off dead as alive. Release the prisoner and call the next case, Mr. Sheriff."