• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 9 3 1913
• Tags:
• joke

SAID TO BE FUNNY Let us be thankful for occasional visits from the man who sees the funny side of things. Mrs. Slang—‘‘I never could stand for a ‘mutt', could you?" Miss Mild—"‘I can't say, I never ate one. "Why, hello Jack, I heard you were dead." "Naw, that was me brother." "Oh, what a pity." Foolish Question—‘‘Lo Shorty, fishin'?""Naw, drownin' worms." "I hear that Jingles is behind with his barber." "Got it wrong, the barber is ahead; no hair cutting on that job." Little Ike—‘‘What's that long green thing hanging up in your garden"? Henry—‘‘That is a cucumber, my little man." Little Ike—‘‘Laws me, I allus thought cukes growed in slices." You are leaving us dear Timmie, You make our hearts feel sad, For well we know you'll catch it, When you meet up with your ‘‘Dad." Doc.—‘‘My, but these are poor cigars." Mr. R—‘‘What are you kicking about, you've only got one box, and I've got fifty." Mr. Bonsall—‘‘Who can tell me two famous men who were boys together? Yiddisha Sam—‘‘I kin, t'e two Siamese Twins." "What's the baby crying for?" "Wants his own way" "Well, if it's his own, why not let him have it?" Mr. Giordiano is not only an accomplished linguist but has been an extensive traveler. He says that he always speaks the language of the country in which he is visiting, that even while in Turkey, he was able to say, "gobble gobble" with the unction of a native. The prayer of a wise little girl: "Oh Lord, please make all of the bad people good, and the good people nice."