• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 9 10 1913
• Tags:
• joke
• racist
• inside joke

SAID TO BE FUNNY Let us be thankful for occasional visits from the man who sees the funny side of things. And the Cat came back! "Hurry up eating that watermelon, John Henry, the truck is coming along to take up the rinds.""Let her come, Mis'er Bish-up, let her come; fo' de're ain' gonna be no rin's outen hyar."Martha had saved up eight dollars, and as she was starting on her honeymoon she handed the money to her mistress, and asked her to save it for her. "All right, Martha, but I thought you would prefer taking it along with you to spend on your wedding trip." "Look a hyar Mis' Kate, Ah might be purty foolish in go'in gettin' married, but Ah ain't dat simple, dat Ah gwine take all dat money ‘roun' a strange niggah, no ma'm." "What did you mean by kissing me when I was asleep on the sofa this morning?" "I took only one little one." "You didn't, I counted at least seven before I woke." Thou art welcome brother Jingles, If you're the one of whom we've read, And you can arrange to ship your body, And let the Umpire have your head. Penitentiary Bulletin (Kansas) "Peroxide of Odium" is what the girl asked for, and the druggist's young man gave her "something as good." "I get blamed for everything that happens," sobbed little Jerry. "Why, I am sure you must be mistaken, your kind mother and father would never be so unjust,' sympathized the neighbor. "But I do,' complained the little fellow. "I get blamed for everything, why, we've got a new baby up to our house, and Dad, he says, it's all my fault." Willie had been handed a nickle to put in the poor box. After placing the coin in the slot, he stood waiting very expectingly, and after a few moments rushed off to his mother with the complaint, ‘‘Mommer I put th' penny in th' box, but nuffin tome out."