• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 9 24 1913
• Tags:
• joke
• inside joke

SAID TO BE FUNNY Let us be thankful for occasional visits from the man who sees the funny side of things. Jingles says he will soon have to draw a line to show where his face stops. "Who can describe a caterpillar?" asked Mr. Bonsall. "I kin, Teechur,"' said Yiddisha Sam, "It's a vorm what is upholstered."Blink,—‘‘Soy Timmie I wantchu to look after me te'artrical in'trusts when you go out." Timmie,—‘‘Sure; that will not require much time or effort." B 5677 sends in the following: He was visiting a friend some time ago, and while in the parlor was shown a common red clay brick. and a faded rose, beneath a glass case. He asked for the story, and the friend replied: "Do you see this hole in my head?" Upon being assured that he did, he continued," well that is the brick that did it.' "What about the rose?""That my friend," he gravely answered, "is a rose from the grave of the man who threw the brick.""Mama," said the little girl, as she watched the Governor pass by in his carriage, "I thought you said the Governor was a politican." "So, I did, my dear, but why do you ask?""Because I heard papa say, that politicians had stripes, or ought to have stripes, or something like that, and I am sure there are no stripes on our Governor." One left by Timmie: A traveler passing through a Pennsylvania hamlet came to two churches, a Baptist and a Methodist, on opposite sides of the road. As he drew near to the Baptist church, the congregation were singing loudly: "Will there be any stars, any stars in my crown?" As they closed the hymn, the congregation of the Methodist church opposite took up the good old-fashioned hymn, "No, not one! No, not one!"When you're ill, a doctor's bill, can give you thrill, which his pill, never will.