• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 10 15 1913
• Tags:
• joke
• racist
• inside joke

SAID TO BE FUNNY Let us be thankful for occasional visits from the man who sees the funny side of things. Mr. Bonsall—‘‘What is a guinea worth in our money?" Yiddisha Sam—‘‘A guinney is wort ninety cents a day, and no more, so mine fadder says."B 6677 says he was in the custody of a policeman one time, when his hat blew off, and he asked the officer if he could run after it? "Nix" said the wise cop,"' I know yer, and I know yer tricks. Stand here, and I'll go chase it meself."Jonah says that Rabbi is becoming so well educated that he can now talk with one hand, where he formerly was obliged to use two. Mary had a little calf, And it was white as snow, She wore her skirt slashed up the side, And that is how I know.Swig (angrily) "The size of your bill makes my blood boil." Doc. M.—‘‘That will be $20. more for sterilizing your system." Blink says that he and Sadie were up in an airship, 2000 feet above the ground, when she suddenly looked down and said: "Gee, I've busted another pearl button off my jacket. I see it way down there on the ground." "Nix," said Blink, ‘"‘dat's not yer purl button, dat's lake Erie."When a fellow adds a little more to a little, and gets a whole lot, it is time for him to build a house on it. B 6076. The following poster was displayed in connection with a Western revival meeting: Subject—‘‘Hell: Its Location and Absolute Certainty." Thomas Jones, baritone, will sing ‘‘Tell Mother I'll Be There.""Just my luck" complained Spider, "so soon as I get on Easy street some gink comes along and starts to tear up the pavements." B 6594:—Oh, sir, I am suffering from indigestion." Mr. Bailey: ‘‘Why I am sorry. What can do to help you?" B 6594: Sir you can cure me instantly by giving me something to digest." Philanthropist:'' Er—I sent a poor starving devil down to you with a note this morning to tell you to give him a meal. What's the bill?" Bung: "Twenty-five cents."Philanthropist: "What are the items?" Bung: "Four beers and a cigar."