• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 10 22 1913
• Tags:
• poetry
• inside joke
• baseball

WITH THE POETS DUCKEY'S LAMENT I wish I wuza baseball star Insted of just a printer, En that I wuz a slugger En an awful speedy sprinter En men wud come from far away, En put up a whole dollar To see the wap that I cud play En wen the crowd wud holler "Oh! You, Duck'' I'd——Gee, there's Mac A tellin' me to hustle back. En wen three men wuz on the bags, En I wuz at the bat I'd take it eazy just to show I nu wat I wuzat. Tesrau cudn't rattle me With a spit ball or a drop, For wen I landed on the ball The crowd wud yell, "Oh! Duck" En I'd run all—Gee, there's the phone, Why can't Blink leave a guy alone. En wen I pitched the other side They wud be pail and glum, Becaus they nu the gaim wus lost— I'd put them on the bum. I'd strike them all out every time— They wud not get a hit, En Mister Bob wud shake my hand En Rube say, "Duck you're it." En then I'd bow, and gee—My, I wonder if Dad saw that pi. En wen the season it wuz dun En I had wun the flag I'd get a lot of big bokays En I wud chew the rag With all the big gazabos Wat wud cum 2 shak my hand; The Umprre wud print me pictur En send a grate big band To cum, and tell me how I orter— Gee, they're yelling ‘‘Duck go get the water."' Adapted.