• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 11 12 1913
• Tags:
• joke
• inside joke

SAID TO BE FUNNY Let us be thankful for occasional visits from the man who sees the funny side of things. When Greek meets Greek, there is a new shoe shining stand established. "Are you in favor of that curfew law?""Yes, I'm in favor of any law that reduces the number of dogs."Ducky—‘"Why do you suppose Blink such a vacant expression?" Yeap—‘‘Because he thinks of himself so much." Newcomer—"Is this all the soap that there is in this little room?" Overseer—"Sure, that's all we allow to one room." Newcomer—‘‘Well give me two more rooms. I want to wash my face in the mornings." Yiddisha Sam's examination paper: A blizzard is the inside of a hen. Oxygen is a thing that has eight sides. The cuckoo never lays its own eggs. A mosquito is a child of black and white parents. Ikey came home from school very late and very sorrowful. He had been punished, and his father chided him."It was all your fault," said Ikey. "You told me the wrong answer. Last night when I asked you how much was a million dollars, you said ‘it was a devil of a lot,' and the teacher says that's not the right answer." A young man, in a very excited state rushed into the city hospital, and demanded to see his wife at once. "What name?" asked the attendant. "Mrs. Annie Brown, I want to see her quick." "No one of that name here,"' gruffly returned the man. "I know better, she must be here, I just arrived home and found this note from her, and there is no other place for her to go." "Let me see the note." It was handed to him, and he read: "Dearest Jack: I won't be home for dinner. I have gone to get my kimono cut out. Annie." "How much do you charge for cutting off a dog's tail," asked a small boy, with a dog in one hand, and a silver quarter in the other. "The operation usually costs a dollar" said the veterinarian, "but, I'll do it for you for fifty cents."The boy looked disappointed for the moment his face brightened, and extending the hand with the quarter in it, he exclaimed: ‘‘This is all I've got; s'pose you cut off a quarter's worth." t's easy enough to be pleasant, And sing of joys and good cheer, But the man worthwhile, Is the man with a smile, When the judge hands him a year.