• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-6591
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 11 19 1913
• Tags:
• joke
• inside joke
• racist

SAID TO BE FUNNY Let us be thankful for occasional visits from the man who sees the funny side of things. Ducky—Blink doesn't look like an actor, does he? Yeap—Naw, and he don't act like one nuther."Gawge Henery, what's a alibi?""Dat's provin' dat yo' was at a prayer-meetin' whar yo' wasn't in order to show dat you wasn't at a crap game whar yo' was." "How in the world will you dig up more evidence to get me a new trial?" said Slay. "Don't worry about that," replied the lawyer. "All you have to do, is to dig up more money.""Say Timmie, I had me pictur' took de other day." said Blink. "Who on earth would take a thing like that?"' replied Timmie. "My boy, when I was your age, I thought like you, that I knew it all, but now," said Dad, "I have reached the conclusion that I know nothing." "Hm," said Jerry, ‘" I reached that conclusion about you long ago." "Eddie my dear, what are you crying for," said a lady to her little boy who had just returned from church. "Because the minister says, we all must be born over again, and I'm afraid I shall be born a girl the next time." Little things in life remind us We must buy shoes and clothes. What a little thing can cost him, No one but a father knows. Sadie is nothing, if not tactful. Not long ago someone asked her what she thought of "Blink." She hesitated a moment, and then replied : "Well, if I were out fishing, and I caught him, I should put him back." Neighbor—And how's yer guid man this mornin', Mrs. Tamson? Mrs. Tamson—He deed last nicht. Neighbor—I'm real sorry to hear that. Ye'll no remember if he happened to say onything about a pot o' green paint before he slippet awa? Miss Muffit had recently joined the "Band of Sisters for Befriending Burglars" and was being shown over a prison for the first time. One prisoner, evidently a man of education, interested her more than the others. He rose, and bowed to her when she entered his cell, apologizing for the poorness of his apartment. Miss Muffit could not help wondering how this refined man came within the clutches of the law. In fact, as she was leaving his cell she said : "May I ask why you are in this distressing place?" "Madam, I am here for robbery at a seaside hotel!'' "How very interesting!" said Miss Muffit. "Were you—er—the proprietor?"