• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-2331
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 2
• Page Number:
• Date: 3 19 1913
• Tags:
• joke
• politics

Some Aspirants for Cabinet Positions, IGNACIO CRABFLAKE had expected to be Wilson's Secretary of State, because he once gave the President a match when his pipe went out. GUSTAV NICOTINE whose father was Wilson's barber, says it is no more than right that he should have been appointed Postmaster-General. TOBIAS FIERCE the house decorator, who is an old friend of Wilson's Cousin, expected to land the job of Secretary of the Interior. It was whispered that OSCAR PICKLESAUER would hold down Secretary of the Treasury. He once shared a banana with Wilson when they were boys together. CICERO MacSAUSAGE was spoken of vigorously for Secretary of War. Mr. Wilson owes him a debt of gratitude for loaning him his umbrella one day when it looked like rain. LLEWELLYN J. FLOUNDER'S — friends believed he had the Attorney General's job cinched. Mr. Wilson showed his friendly feeling toward Flounder some years ago, when he allowed him to hold his horse.