• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-7413
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 5
• Page Number:
• Date: 10 25 1916
• Tags:
• gossip
• inside joke

INSIDE JINGLES

Will some one please tell us if there will be any money left when we get out?

They say that money covers a multitude of sins. Yes, and soup covers a multitude of bones.

The suggestion has been made that an ice-skating rink be erected where the stonepile now stands. Could be worse.

It was stated in a local newspaper recently, that the alfalfa crop is greatly below the average this year. Probably that accounts for the shortage of Duke’s Mixture this month.

Modern economists deplore the lack of proper education in the art of domestic science, especially in the culinary branch. Which reminds us of some shining lights in our own cook-house.

The Y. M. C. A. classin mathematics received their diplomas last week, which, however,do not entitle their recipients to a degree, honorary or otherwise. We would suggest conferring the Degree of B. L. (Bachelor of Leisure) on some of them.

It would not be a bad idea for some fellows to bring their own sawdust along with them to the H. F. C. entertainments, judging by the looks of the floor at the first one.

We notice a decided improvement in the seating arrangement at the Honor Club. Those long benches provided a little work for some of our carpenters; just enough to keep them in practise, so to speak.

“Dutch,’’ the Canary Bird King, says that bis birds wo’n’t sing any more. No wonder, after listening to him play the “Wacht Am Rhine.” Those birds are neutral Dutch.

Paddy—‘‘An’ what is an optimist, me bye?” Bunker— “Why, anoptimist is a feller wearin’ a green tie and carrying a green banner in an Orangemen’s parade.’’

Did you receive any Valentines? Here is one we received the other day: “When you are with me, darling, My life is full of cheer, But since Fate us two has parted My consolation is in—." I guess the dash stands for ice-cream soda.