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Inside Jingles
- Author: Unknown
- Editor: B-7413
- Newspaper: The Umpire volume 5
- Page Number:
- Date: 11 8 1916
- Tags:
- gossip
- inside joke
INSIDE JINGLES
That reminds us “‘Oysters R in season’’—but not for us.
To keep the steam pipes hot, don’t swear at the janitor.
The laborer is worthy of his hire, even in prison. If you can not pay him, at least you can feed him.
Another state goes dry. —News Item. The first thing you know the only wet state in the Union will be the State of Intoxication.
Deliver us from the pest who insists on tell- ing his troubles. We have plenty of our own.
The back-drop of the H. F. C. stage is a fine piece of work, executed by two fellow-inmates, and it takes the pen of a genius to describe it.
During his six months with the bard ‘‘Brownie,’’ our talented musician, has made wonderful progess in his playing. He has been advanced to the position of chief water boy.
A thorough reorganization of the shoe department is taking place. Machinery is to be installed in the new shops, and an expert is already in charge to supervise and instruct the workers in the use of it.
A scientist recently stated that the breath of four hundred criminals contains enough poison to kill an army. He must mingle with the aristocracy.
We read an amusing anecdote the other day concerning the warden of a large pententiary. There was quite a large number of visitors present, when the commissary clerk stopped to ask how many apples to give the men for supper. The warden (wishing to impress the visitors, but holding up one finger) said in a magnanimous voice, ‘‘Give ’em as many as they want.”
It is not the easiest thing in the world to get up before an unusual audience (such as we have at H. F. C.) and entertain it. Critical observers will have noticed that some of the performers seemed to be quite nervous and under high tension; in fact a few of them actually go all to pieces. It is up to all of us to help them along. Give them a square deal, andif you think they are not up to the mark, mum’s the word. We should be very grateful to them for ‘‘doing their little bit’’ to cheer us up.
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- DOI 10.58117/2x7t-s726