• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-7413
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume 5
• Page Number:
• Date: 12 27 1916
• Tags:
• gossip
• prison
• inside joke
• ESP news

QUIPS AND JESTS

Life at the E. S. P. is just one continuous round of soup.

Some people are loved for the enemies they make, even though they sit upon the object of their wrath. More power to our husky, dusky inmate advocate of equal rights.

“What has become of Larry?” "Oh, a little flyer in the mail order bus—’’ “Did he get much out of it?” “Well, I should say yes. From five to ten at Atlanta.”

New Comer— “How did you enjoy the beans last Wednesday?’’ Old Timer—"Say, the next time you feel like commitin’ suicide, just look me up and repeat de question.’’

It is to be hoped that the supply of raisins for the ‘‘dutch-cake’’ will not fall short this year, or fall into the pockets of the favored few. Let’s have an equal “divvy’’ for all.

There’ll be abundant opportunity in the fu- ture for some of the inmates to show their abilities as sandhogs, when the new tube is run under the Delaware. That is, providing time’s up.

Overseer Sykes, our genial instructor of electricity, is devising a powerful pocket search-light to present to Diogenes MecD. on New Year’s day. This will greatly facilitate the search for trouble.

Every one loves a good josher these days. There’s One with us that’s past master of Of course we all know about it; so long as the ‘‘pub—" don’t catch on, why, just feed it to ’em. Selah!

First Inmate— “What’s that I saw in THE UMPIRE about ‘good lookin’ overseers’? Tell me if those fellows (L. & M.) have got anything on Herkness.” Second Inmate— “Yes, or Gus Gassenmeyer. I guess they’re some class. What!”

Doctor— “Well, what’s the matter with you?” Old Timer—‘‘I’ve been eating too much lately and feel the need of reducing—’’ Doctor (turning away and addressing clerk) — “Put that ‘nut’ down for examination by alienist. It looks like a hopeless case.’’