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Let's All Be Glad

  • Author: Unknown
  • Editor:
  • Newspaper: The Umpire volume V
  • Page Number:
  • Date: 6 19 1918
  • Tags:
  • joke
  • gossip

LET’S ALL BE GLAD

Have you that all gone feeling in your, Treasury?

We wonder if there is a bottom to that War Chest.

Reds— "I feel like thirty cents.” Whitey— ‘‘How things, have gone up since the War-Chest!”

Father— "That scar on your head must be very annoying.’’ Claude-— “Oh, it’s next to nothing."

Visitor—‘‘And what’s Johnny?” Johnny—“To be a morris-chair inspector.’’

We are hard at work contriving a periscope wherewith to see that eclipse of the sun next Saturday evening.

We count the days so carefullee, It’s thirty-four, it’s thirty-three; It’s thirty-two, it’s thirty-one, It’s only ‘bout a month, by gum!

Our Stenog’ says that everybody have their faults, and we agree, as usual, but we’re going to elaborate that axiom, by stating that some folks seem to realize it, and are yet proud of them, while the rest are sorry.

“Name something,” said the teacher, “that is very dangerous to get near to, and has horns.” “I know, teacher, I know!”’ Annie Jones. “Well, Annie, what is it?” “An automobile.”

This is the Bond that you bought. This is the Gun that was bought with the Bond that you bought. This is the Hun that was killed with the Gun that was bought with the Bond that you bought. This is the Battle that was won, because of the Hun that was killed by the Gun that was bought with the Bond that you bought. This is the War the Kaiser lost, because of the Battie that was won, becauste of the’ Hun that was killed with the Gun that was bought with the Bond that you bought. This is the Lasting Peace that was made, because of the War the Kaiser lost because of the Battle that was won, because of the Hun that was killed with the Gun that was you bought. These are the ‘‘Sammees’’ that came home, because of the Lasting Peace that was made because of the War the Kaiser lost, because of the Battle that was won, because of the Hun that was killed with the Gun that was bought with the Bond that you bought.