• Author: Unknown
• Editor: B-8266
• Newspaper: The Umpire volume V
• Page Number:
• Date: 9 18 1918
• Tags:
• poetry

THE QUESTIONAIRE

Oh, answer promptly, and with care, Those queries in your Questionaire; If you’r divorced, or single, tell, Or when they tolled the marriage bell; Your, age, condition, name, and race, Name, and each freckle on your face; If blind or knock-kneed, dark or fair, Tell ’em in your Questionaire.

If you’ve had wives, then just how many? If not, why haven’t you had any? Did you live with—and on—your pa, or ma? Or did you bunk with father-in-law? What color hair, or have you any? And whats your income to the penny? What is your fightin’ weight? Take care, To tell ’em in your Questionaire.

Wast born in the U. S. A.? Where did you come from anyway? Where did you work these twelve months past? Was that your first ‘‘bit’’ or your last? Didst quit your job, or it quit you? And—just how much of this is true? Are you a man who’d take a dare? Then tell ’em in your Questionaire.

What is your favorite style of fightin’? Gougin’, like the Boche, an’ bitin’? And now you’re in the E. S. P., Oh, say what might the matter be? Make Uncle Sam so much the wiser, He’ll maybe let you fight the Kaiser, When you have answered with due care, Those queries in your Questionaire.